


How it goes

by imladrissun



Category: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:42:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6732886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imladrissun/pseuds/imladrissun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The tale of what happens post-movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Perry's had a lot of life experiences--many more than his erstwhile assistant, he's sure, but it doesn't change how the guy can emote. He only watches his performances in secret, under the guise of being 'out', working. 

And yet, after everything he's done, been through, seen, he couldn't help but feel life after Harry was a shock. He was an idiot, sure, but everything else seemed to change, all at once.

Perry got a flood of new clients after Harry slowly but surely charmed the wealthy socialites who wanted their husbands caught on camera with the maid. [Or pool boy, in one case]. He had a way of getting along with people, making him an incredible secretary. An asset. 

Perry's been told he's a little abrasive sometimes. He can't help it.

Neither of them discuss the amount of business Harry's able to pull in, the way he gets Perry twice as much work as he's ever had. He doesn't lord it over him; really he seems uncomfortable with any mention of competence on his part at all. It's like he prefers everyone think he's nice but stupid. 

It's his knee jerk reaction, and Perry will have his own reaction if he ever finds out who taught him to feel that way. 

Of course, to balance Harry's positives out, he still does things like accidentally put a camera in the fridge once and fall asleep on the couch, head resting on Perry's rolled up old sweater. 

It makes him feel things, seeing him look so young in his sleep, face pillowed on Perry's clothes. 

It was strange, feeling something real for someone. In his town, things like that rarely happened. Harry seemed to be impervious to the corruption and cruelty of L.A.. He had even started acting in recurring television roles. 

[Perry had obviously forced him to use a fake name that he most emphatically did not let him choose.]

And it wasn't just Perry who felt oddly sincere about his little friend. It was Harry, too. He could tell, even if only from the way he would sit beside him on the couch. Harry was soft, in every way--he seemed to melt into his side, next to him; the way he talks and talks, but clams up if another man tries to engage with him too friendly-ish. Perry kind of likes being the one guy in Harry's life, or person in his life. It's not like he's got any women.

The reality is, Harry starts making more money with constant roles than the actual P.I. office does. [It's an unspoken reality.] He still comes with him sometimes, and does all the paperwork and phone calls, but mostly he's just out acting, on set. 

At home, Perry gave him his own room, but it still looks terrible. It has barely anything of Harry's.

He just didn't have much. It upsets Perry somehow, but he can just manage to restrain himself from asking where his stuff is. Where did it go? Everyone has random stuff, pointless things. Childhood mementos, clutter. But Harry has almost nothing. 

His room stands empty for days and days; it doesn't seem to bother Harry, but then, not much does. Sure he whines a little, and rambles a lot, but he doesn't really talk about his thoughts. His opinions. 

[Like why is he living with Perry? They never talk about it. Harry never really mentions his orientation, and when rude little bastards call him his bitch, he just laughs. He technically pays Harry, but he had to set his bank account up himself--and Perry knows he doesn't use the money. He only uses his acting cash, and is apparently paid half in it as well. The other half goes into the bank.

He checks his accounts just to protect him, god knows the producers could screw him or something. Somebody's got to look out for him. And he gets job after job, until he really has enough to go live on his own quite comfortably. Not that Perry informs him of it. 

He can see the signs of change in himself--the attachment, the comfort. And it's there vice versa: Harry looks to him for safety, and for approval. 

Perry's just worried that he's alone in looking to his little friend for love, too. He's already got the other two. Harry always speaks of him like he's some heroic character--yes, Perry listens in on a lot of his conversations. Harry's got a loud voice, okay? It's not like it's intentional. And while he might not be able to fight his way out of a cardboard box, Perry does feel safe with him. 

Safe, as in he'd never hurt him, he cares about him. If he hears Perry having a nightmare, he's come in before, and sat on the bed next to him, and talked and put an arm around him. He never mentions it the next day, or ever, really. All without any uncomfortable talk.]

Sometimes, Harry's the best.

So Perry ends up realizing he's unconsciously kept buying him things just to fill up that discomfiting empty space. It's a troubling thought. He's tried to keep from thinking about how attached he is to Harry, how much he enjoys having someone around. Harry is such a sweet, funny person by nature--Perry thought people like him didn't exist. But Harry is real, going over his lines in his room, endlessly walking back and forth, talking to himself. And he has this type of innocence, this weird sincerity, that draws him in. He wants to have him, and protect him from the world, all at once. 

You can't really hear too much out in the hall, but Perry has listened to him go over his lines. It's mostly disjointed words. He'd expected Harry to brag about his paychecks from set, but instead he never mentions them at all. They just keep getting direct deposited to Perry's account. [He set him up as a subsidiary family member, so it's technically his account as well. Of course, he never seems to think things like dates or times are important, so it's lucky he's got Perry.] The whole thing means Harry found his checkbook, made a void check and gave it to the accounting people. He'd kind of just assumed that he'd take all the money in cash, but no. He's very off the grid, cash only, random disposable cell phone--very ready to be a flew the coop story. Harry never mentions money either, despite being his dependent [and putting it in that joint account]. To be fair, Perry doesn't talk either. 

It's too creepy, to mention he's almost had him move in as a type of boyfriend. Perry cooks them breakfast, they constantly hang out together--it's like nobody's naming what's obvious. He's worried that Harry won't react well to being the focus of positive emotion, he just eschews it. 

Even with that Harmony woman, it was all 'no, no, you're right', and 'I wish I could have someone like you someday'. Like he couldn't imagine someone loving him.

Perry's got news for him, but he's just too avoidant. Harry might talk a lot, but he also skates by anything emotional, meaningful or serious. And he can't approach the subject at all. It's too serious, too real. It's so much easier to keep things as the status quo day after day.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry had always lived his life light. From his home as a kid, to attending college classes on the cheap [if you sit in the back no one notices], to going from one form of thievery to another, he was always moving. Always free. 

Before meeting Perry, his current forays into quote 'work' were lowbrow. It followed a period where he had worked with someone way too into jewels. She had been a real professional, and so had he. But she had hesitated before helping him out of a momentary snag, wanting to get the jewels instead of saving him. 

It had made him sad, somehow. Even though she hadn't left him for dead, she'd paused. Thought about it. Leaving him had been her instinct. It was knowledge he hadn't wanted to have. He had deliberately chosen only lowbrow partners after that, little crimes that didn't matter. 

He was tired of the big game, of big stakes. He'd studied with a lock breaker, a charmer, a pickpocket, a safecracker and of course, the jewel thief. All of them had been unique, interesting. They'd taught him irreplaceable skills, and how to work with others. It was a hard thing to do, after always being alone and relying only on yourself. 

He'd had a little hope that Harmony might work out, but unsurprisingly, she'd wanted better. Especially since he never told anyone what he was really worth. The real professionals never seemed to come off as wealthy. It was bad form to wear or drive anything expensive.

People barely liked him as it was, if they'd known what his Cayman Island bank account said they'd just lie and pretend to value him. Most thieves only dated within their own specialization, but Harry preferred to move on and within different types of work. Anyway, he was basically with Perry already, right? 

While his real life of being a thief was usually fine, his 'normal', mundane life was the problem. 

He just couldn't manage it, the bills and mail, the endless normal things you had to keep up on. You had to buy groceries and pay an electric bill. Get gas, do the laundry. It was too much, and too complicated, with all its little details. He'd had mighty little experience with domestic, normal life and didn't it seem like it was too late to learn now?

He'd just gone through life latching onto one expert thief after another, and stayed with them as an apprentice of sorts. They'd had maids to handle the house, and assistants to handle the everyday stuff. As a result, Harry had just recently realized he was not prepared for regular anything. Meeting Perry had only emphasized that. 

And yet.... Perry made him kinda want to stay playacting this normal life. Having a 'straight' job as an actor. Coming home to one place at night for a reason. For a loved one. Perry was so stable, so rooted down in his big house with all its stuff. How do you even manage to get all that stuff?

Harry felt sure that Perry was a low level hoarder. Probably because of how bad his father had been, he mused. He kind of always felt sorry for Perry, in some vague, general way, because he seemed so sad inside, so stoic but lonely. He tried to cheer him up a little, but Perry was impervious to being cheery. Harry had always thought the only goal of life was to enjoy yourself and be [a little] good, but Perry seemed to think work was all there was. 

His only fun purchases seemed to be ice cream, weird fancy kinds Harry had never bothered trying before. He'd always just had chocotacos or cornettos. Perry seemed to take everything seriously, even meals. Instead of just eating cheerios and then going out to get burritos, he actually made food by hand. In a kitchen. 

Harry would sometimes sit and watch him, almost interested in how it all worked. He'd never tried to cook himself, and couldn't remember his parents ever doing it either. 

Perry is different. He eats imported Icelandic yogurt. [It tastes pretty plain to Harry]. He has classical music on in the house sometimes, and pours them out wine when they have dinner. All of it kind of shocks Harry--he didn't know this was what normal people life was like--but he doesn't say anything. Besides, Perry likes to teach him things, he will talk endlessly about what Harry's supposed to taste in a particular red. 

Harry dutifully doesn't tell him he doesn't really like wine very much. It must be a gay thing. There's a lot he doesn't know about being gay, but since Perry is the only guy he's ever liked, he figures it's just an aberration in his own self. Perry basically acts like they're together, and Harry has decided he's fine with that. Eventually they'll do all the bedroom stuff, whatever that actually would be in real life, but he's sure Perry will know how to handle him. He already does, anyway.

Harry spends most of his time doing acting jobs, which are pretty boring, except for the acting part. That's okay. It's fun to pretend to be someone else. And you get paid for it! It's amazing. 

Perry doesn't seem to have a high opinion of tv or movies, he doesn't really mention it. He keeps Harry doing his secretary stuff. It's kind of nice to live with someone. He's always lived with other people, but it was professional, for work. They were studying blueprints and techniques constantly. You didn't get weekends off, you didn't hang out very much. Everyone was obsessed with the score.

Even though they were all so rich, that's all they cared about. After the first few jewelry heists, and exploring what people actually keep in their safes [very weird stuff sometimes!], it got a little old hat. Jewelry's just stones in the end, no matter how much it's worth. 

It's much more invigorating to have someone to talk to, to have a friend. Harry's had acquaintances, mentors, apprentices himself, co-workers, assistants and associates. Never friends. 

It feels nice to talk to someone because he wants to, without a goal. Perry's really very nice. He doesn't like to be called on it, but he is a little over-invested in Harry. He always wants to know if whoever he's talking to is trustworthy; if someone calls he wants to know if they treated him right. Sometimes Harmony calls while drunk and definitely does not treat him right. Perry always gets furious with her and makes her apologize -- after taking the phone away from him.

Harry can't bring himself to tell him it's okay. It's happened a lot over the years. And he himself calls her too. He doesn't even need to be drunk to be embarrassing. He can cry about his parents just fine while sober. 

Being with Perry is the best thing in his life. He's so strong, in the emotional sense, like stability--and also strong for real. He's always worried about him, protective, he chides him to go to the doctor [his private one] because his health is important, he wants to hang out with him every day. When Harry comes home from an acting gig, he looks up as he comes in like he's pleased. Like he wants to talk to him, missed him. 

Nobody's ever missed him before. It's a good feeling, Harry thinks. 

Perry even buys him things. Half the stuff seems to be some gay thing Harry doesn't understand, if he's honest. I mean, what's the purpose of a chair with a weird name? Perry lectures him about Eames furniture, Diptique candles, cologne, clothes. He buys him clothes and stuff from places Harry's never heard of but mentally refers to as 'alphabet soup': APC, Clive no. 1, Thom Browne, YSL, Buly.

He always seems anxious that Harry like it. And he does, because it's nice of him. It's sweet, if ultimately misguided. Harry doesn't care about stuff. He had a lot of stuff, it didn't mean anything. Only people matter.


	3. Chapter 3

Perry solves the problem of anything that makes him nervous in different, equally odd ways. The pre-eminent one is the fact that Harry’s been using relationship language with him lately, admittedly subtly, and has started to ask questions that imply things. 

He doesn’t even have to hear the vague opening words, he can hear it in his voice. He’ll start with ’So, have you ever thought—‘ and Perry has no choice but to pull him closer, put a hand in his hair and kiss him to shut him up. 

Surprisingly, it works. Harry does not talk about it eventually, after being cut off like that so many times. And then, one day, he hesitantly tries to initiate it himself. He almost acts like Perry is fragile, which makes no sense. 

Which one of them is the virgin to gaylandness? It’s not him. 

But even after they’ve gotten more comfortable doing basic stuff, Perry doesn’t want him to have to adjust to doing things he probably hasn’t done [he may be willing to die for Harry, but Harry is admittedly very ‘white bread’ in about a thousand aspects], he still acts like he’s fragile. 

Harry touches him gently, looks at him with kindness. It’s really weird, it adds this layer of weirdness to it. Harry seems to think this is totally normal. 

Insanely, he seems more comfortable lying there half on top of Perry, holding his hand [for some reason ?!?!?], slowly rubbing his fingers on his hand. To be honest it’s like a slow motion scene in a movie where no one gets what's going on. And instead of endlessly talking about it, or even really mentioning it at all, Harry’s apparently just decided he’s fine with suddenly being gay and in a relationship. 

It’s very disconcerting when Perry realizes that he’s the one that wants to talk about it. I mean, he doesn’t, not really, but don’t they have to? Isn’t that like required? Harry usually handles this type of thing. 

Like when Perry’s parents died finally—it was Harry who managed everything, who packed their suitcases, who got the plane tickets. Who drove them to the funeral, greeted people, and basically gave responses for him. He doesn’t think he spoke at all for the entire first week beyond basic involuntary reactions. 

Though Perry might seem more mature [most of the time, he hopes], Harry’s got him beat in many areas. Even when some of Perry’s more tolerable acquaintances, or friends really, call, Harry is simultaneously nice and uninterested. Which is great, because everyone wants to know all about the guy that Perry bothered to settle down for. When people question him, Harry vanishes like smoke, metaphorically—he verbally shifts around until they’re listening to him talk about something completely different. 

While he shares his real thoughts with Perry, he is surprisingly fake with other people. The few times he’s in danger, he manages to pickpocket so many people so fast that he’s got a quite a collection of stuff when they get back to the house. 

Perry forgets he was an actual thief until moments like those. But when he tries to have him teach him how to steal like that, Harry just interrupts to say ‘lift…’, and shakes his head instead of saying anything.

He doesn’t like to talk about his past, or his skills. After a few months, Perry starts to make him go golfing; at first there’s a legit reason, they’re observing a person of interest in an investigation, but then it’s just because Harry seemed to really like it. 

Perry does not. But that seems to pale in comparison to how relaxed Harry is in that early morning mist, the soft early light. He tried to get him to actually hit the ball, but he’s not interested. Harry constantly talks in those mornings, quietly, as he stares at the trees and endless fresh, lovely grass around them. 

He covers all different topics, like what he thinks of potential life after death, and his opinion of the story of Gilgamesh. Perry had no idea his range of interests was this wide, varied and esoteric, but he likes it. Something about being on the green, alone with him at the crack of dawn on an empty golf course lets him open up. 

It’s not until after they’re cleaning out the office that he goes through the safe. Harry has added a few things, to his shock—a box of what appears to be loose diamonds [no, none of these things have any relation to any case they’ve done], a few bars of gold from different countries [including China?!], and he calls him on it. But all Harry says is, “I didn’t want it to be like I didn’t contribute anything. This is just some of my stuff, I had it in a safe place.” 

Harry shrugged and continued. “But now, this is my safe house; it’s here. Our… our house, like together. You know?”

Perry’s too occupied with staring at him, gaping, to answer. The rest of the safe’s contents are spread out on a nearby desk; he fished out his old dogtags from the clutter, and gave them to him. 

He didn’t know quite what to say, but it didn’t matter. Harry was pleased, he could tell. He often let him off the hook if he went with a real, sincere gesture. Except Perry was beginning to not want to be let off, he wanted to express something. Out loud. 

It took him a few days before he stopped and noticed that Harry was wearing them. 

It wasn’t that odd, that he hadn’t spotted it—Harry was very distracting. His eyes, god. They were almost too expressive. While he was working Perry tried to focus, and deliberately didn’t let himself just stare at him. It was extremely tempting. 

Somehow seeing him wearing that old metal necklace made him feel secure, like he’d won. He may have been losing battles left and right, but he was going to win the war. The war for him. They still didn’t always sleep in the same bed, which was fine, because he didn’t always sleep well. He didn’t know at first that Harry had a lot of moments when he didn’t like other people to be near him when he slept. 

Perry tried to force himself to put it out of his mind. It was too upsetting.

Battles like not tracking mud in the house, using coasters, actually ironing clothes at all, ever, were ones he still lost. Harry had a very different set of values. Once in a while, he’d get phone calls that had to be from previous partners about jewel theft or something, because Harry would clam right up and go sulk alone in his room. He’d watch crime tv, but only pro-bad guy shows like Hustle and Leverage.

Yes, Perry did listen through the door. Harry also would then [appear to] eat only popcorn drizzled with chocolate. Perry wouldn’t let him buy the cheap kind; at least his insane diet was high quality, he thought with a sigh. Not that Harry had the foresight, memory or follow through to actually go to a store and buy groceries. 

If Perry didn’t cook and lay out their meals, he inevitably found Harry eating something terrifying, disgusting, or so confusing it must have been a mistake, somehow. Like marshmallow fluff between crackers, or a sandwich consisting of peanut butter and lucky charms.

… What?!?! It was enough to give you an aneuryism. The part that got him was that Harry didn’t seem to know it was strange. What kind of life do you have to have to reach that point? Perry didn’t think about it, deliberately. He had to focus on giving Harry the life he deserved now, not dwelling on the worthless past. 

Harry was actually very good at gift giving during holidays and birthdays, but claimed not to want anything. 

He resorted to getting Harmony on the line. Her answers were worse than Perry expected—typically he’d been given food he liked. That meant: oreoes, lucky charms, black cherry soda, and cherry chewy candies. 

Perry couldn’t do it. He finally decided to go with a bunch of clothes, one little eyes liner because he had watched him put [normal things like toner, moisturizer] stuff on his face [once in a while, this way he could try expressing himself in that way if he wanted to—Perry doubted it but really thought he needed to try a bunch of stuff and figure out what he was into, in life in general]. Harry didn’t actually wash his face correctly, or use enough toner, moisturizer or anything at all most of the time, but that was hard to cure. 

And it could be costly, emotionally, which was the only currency that mattered. Perry didn’t want Harry to feel ‘lesser’ because they did stuff together, of the gay variety. For the first time, he wanted to be with someone, period. He didn’t care if Harry thought of himself as gay, or would publically say they were partners. He was over it all. He absolutely didn’t want to risk hurting his feelings, pride or sense of masculinity over trying to get him to actually take care of his skin. 

Though it was great skin that deserved someone looking out for it, Perry thought wistfully. Maybe someday.

He just wanted everything to stay the same. It was perfect, with Harry living in his house. And Harry, despite all his mistakes, forgetfulness and strange naive innocence was perfect too. 

And he gave him some other gifts: carefully chosen books [adventure novels, Clive Cussler and all that typical straight guy stuff], and some cherry candies from other countries. At least that counted as expanding his palate, right?

Harry was always genuinely thankful and touched, but when he saw the eyeshadow he froze. Was it too gay, he thought immediately—but no, he was too sweet to him to say anything. Perry decided to spear the fish directly. 

“It’s symbolic,” he said, pointing at it. Harry looked at him, shocked that he was mentioning it. “Like a fucking metaphor.”

Harry inhaled, and opened his mouth, and closed it again. Perry felt beholden to continue. “I know you’re not like that, you’re not gay at all, I think you should try some things. There’s writing, art, everything like that. I think you’d like it—you’d be good at that type of thing.”

And I think you need it, maybe, he thought. Harry looked shocked all over again. He shook his head and finally spoke. “That’s cool, thanks I mean… it’s cool to be gay-y, I feel like. I don’t mind that. I don’t care about being a real man, I wanted to be…”

He stopped, and Perry tried to give him a reassuring look. He had never been good at this stuff; this was Harry’s area of expertise. He could always make people feel better, supported, safer, comforted, loved. 

“I wanted to be the third best thief in the world,” Harry said, with a werid emphasis in tone. “I thought you were against that, but I guess this means you found out… I know it was wrong not to tell you, and like that’s lying because it’s omission. But I’m only giving advice to the second best’s protege, with their blessing. I’m not involved or doing it.”

Perry found himself stunned and confused. He reined in his instinct to just yell ‘what??!?!’ over and over, because Harry looked as if he thought he might slap him up. It was something Perry never wanted to see again. There was no universe where Harry had to feel afraid of him. 

“What does eyeshadow have to do with it?” He finally asked. 

Harry gave him a wtf look. He quirked his brow at him. “It helps get you through certain lock keypads.”

Perry almost interrupted him as soon as he started answering—he didn’t have to explain himself. And he didn’t want Harry to think that, either. He wasn’t his jailor, he was someone who cared about him. “I don’t care what you do. You know… I want you to be happy,” he finished lamely. “Whatever shape that takes is fine. Even if it’s eating meatballs with pesto and putting milk in iced tea.” Perry had to fight down an involuntary shudder despite everything. 

Harry’s expression was worth it. He had a really crooked smile when he was truly happy; that was Perry’s favorite present. [His actual gifts to Perry had been rather mind reader-ish; it was all things he’d actually been thinking about getting himself. How Harry knew, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t into computers at all, didn’t have one and almost never used Perry’s.] Another mystery, he thought, and almost smiled as Harry hugged him. He was a hugger, it had turned out.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry isn't very good at being an adult. Or a private investigator. He is both too naive and too paranoid by turns. He also seems to randomly take people's wallets, look at what's in them, and put them back. 

He only takes stuff out of the wallets if they are truly bad people. Perry scolds him, but he almost never catches him doing it. He's on his own when he goes to and from his acting gigs. 

One day, he goes out in an actual suit, which immediately calls for a red alert, in Perry's mind. He calls Harmony for details and finds out that Harry's been nominated for an Emmy. A fucking Emmy!

He can't believe it. Well, he can, because he's secretly seen almost all of Harry's film roles [he has just been beginning to play main characters, instead of supporting ones], and he's an incredible actor. He reads the critical reviews of his performances too, I mean he has to, right? It's just due diligence. And this way if Harry seems down, he'll know why. 

But more and more, finding a bad review of his particular role in anything is like finding a normal, heteronormative, non-vain guy in LA. Other than Harry, of course. Harry is unfortunately oblivious about his appearance. He still wears hideous, non-descript clothing that Perry is ninety percent sure came from a cheap thrift store. 

Ironically, he still looks hot in it. It only serves to highlight his unpretentious, kind nature. He has money now, and he knows he's safe with Perry--financially he always took care of him before he made a fortune in tv and movies. Perry always made sure to give him cash [he was going to get him a credit card, but he didn't one--who says that?! Sometimes Harry gives him agita.]

He tried to make it more like he got paid for his work, instead of getting an allowance. He wanted him to feel like he was free, because Harry was the type to run. He put down about zero roots in LA. Even in the first five years, he was the easy blend in and easy forget person. It worried Perry.

He couldn't make himself say it, but he'd miss that stupid bastard. 

He was used to him, despite bracing himself for the fact that Harry wasn't going to stay forever. From what he gathered over the years, Harry was not just a criminal, he was an excellent one. For whatever reason, he had clearly taken a break from the game. He was being 'normal'. 

Harry wasn't exactly great at lying to him. He couldn't hide his confusion at typical, routine activities, and had no experience with basic parts of adult life. He knew little about household things, and how to handle day to day errands. 

He was particularly inept with laundry--he seemed almost surprised when he realized that Perry actually did it himself. Where did he think his freshly ironed clothes were coming from?! 

But he stopped himself from saying it, and as he bit his tongue in surprise, he realized that Harry didn't even notice his clothes. Or what state they were in. On the other hand, he immediately found a flaw in Perry's security system, which resulted in him going to the head of the security company--and them giving him service for free because it was a huge mistake in their system. 

He would have tagged Harry as autistic, but he didn't really seem like that at all. It was as if he was so used to looking at details, at exits, and points of entry, that he'd forgotten to ever look at regular, boring things. 

The one time Harry gets a cold in those early months makes a chill go up his spine, ironically. He expected him to ramble, whine, call for him... but instead Harry says nothing. He just lays there, silently, unmoving. 

It's a nightmare. Perry feels like he has sit with him, for some nebulous reason unknown to even himself. He's almost scared, mostly for him, somehow. But Harry's not sick enough to go to the hospital, it's just a bad cold--so why the weird reaction? He knows there's something he's missing. 

He can't ask. Harry is too sweet, too obliging. He doesn't want to ask him for anything. He's already had him move in, work for him, god he spends all his time with him, really. Harry's not like him, he's fun and personable, and instead he stays in and watches movies with him constantly. 

Once he realizes he loves early morning golf, it's unfortunately at the literal crack of dawn [he likes the mist or something, Perry's not entirely sure], they do that all the time. He feels like that's the only thing he can give to Harry. That's it. It seems unfair, but he can't fix the situation.

It's clear that Harry finds the trappings of civilization odd. It's like watching The Little Mermaid girl find forks and clocks, and look at them with distanced, uncomprehending interest. He buys him the best things, all Barneys and Nordstroms, to no avail. 

It's like he's from the third world and doesn't even recognize items that have worth, or specialness. Perry's often at a loss. How is he supposed to show him how much he values him if he doesn't get it? This is basic stuff, honestly!

He tries to notice what he likes, but it's an uphill battle. Harry demurs when he wants him to pick the night's movie, and he is always reading Perry's [admittedly too large] book collection, but he's shy about discussing what he thinks. The only thing he'll talk about is art, like the stuff in Perry's books about ancient Egypt and King Tut's tomb. He almost waxes poetic about it, in his own way, rambling on but slower, and Perry can hear the sincerity in his voice, in the timbre of his words. 

For the first time, he begins to wonder what exactly he's been doing all these years to be so intimately familiar with upper Egyptian stele. He tells him things that Perry knows aren't in the book sometimes. One day, in a long overdue stroke of genius, he goes and buys him a bunch of books on ancient world art. And finds out how much he loves Assyrian art.

He's beyond shocked by the books, and when he gets to the book on the ancient Near East, Perry can tell it means something to him. He puts his hand on the cover, but hesitates when he opens his mouth. 

Harry only talks when it's meaningless; he shuts up when he'd otherwise have to say something real, and serious. "Tell me about this," Perry says, drawing his attention. He looks up quickly; he'd been lost in his own world, his own thoughts. "What's this about? What's the pine cone, anyway?"

Harry laughs, and launches into a long lecture about carved alabaster panels, the city of Nimrud, different languages written in cuneiform, and apkallus. 

Perry's a little lost, but he's willing to listen. He thinks that just observing what Harry was actually into was the real gift, though. Not the books, though he still doesn't say anything. It's too hard. 

The irony is that Harry is very wary of commitment and kind words, they seem to make him nervous. Perry's noticed. So he stays there, silent, and realizes he has to come up with a gameplan. He's no longer willing to wake up one day and find Harry gone with his zero belongings. And he knows he'd take precisely nothing, as if what Perry's bought him doesn't really count as his. He has to change things, create some permanence, all without making Harry nervous. It's a tall order.


	5. Chapter 5

Perry is often out working. Harry's not saying he gets bored, but he definitely has a lot of time on his hands. He only accepts certain roles his agent sends him pages of because he doesn't want to 'not be home' when Perry is. 

He has to really think about scheduling, it's a headache, but it's worth it. 

The rest of the time he spends at home, writing up exercises for one of his old colleague's proteges [they steal mostly paintings, usually pre-Modern]. Sometimes he watches videos they send him so he can critique them, but he's very careful to make sure there's no connection with Perry's house, or Perry himself.

He knew he'd decided to be a 'normal' now that he was with Perry, but that didn't mean he didn't miss the life. He didn't have an ear on the community like he used to, but a few of his closer associates called him often with news. And to discuss the new up and comers. 

It was a select group; you had to steal for art's sake alone to be counted in the big leagues. Sure, it was fine to grab some extra lettuce along the way, just to live cushy, but it was about the panache, about your reputation as an artist, too. 

He consoled himself with focusing on being an artist at acting. Also, he may have looked into Perry a little. So he has a trusted work associate from 'before', and maybe that person pulled Perry's records, even his military ones. 

Harry doesn't want to spy on him, but he needs to know he's okay when he first moved in--and then after that, when he really knows him in depth as a person, he goes back and calls again. He wants to hear his past again, now knowing him. 

Thankfully, Perry never notices his introspective moods. He was currently busy investigating the theft of a silver tea set from a very, very wealthy lady's mansion. 

These people had more money then sense, but Perry seemed to like being a PI. Harry wasn't super into it, but he did like the pro bono cases Perry did sometimes, when he helped immigrants who had minor problems they could help with. 

For some reason, Perry loves ordering in Chinese food, but never does it himself. He says he likes cooking [which is something Harry can't wrap his head around; it's way better to have a chef just do it for you and have it sent over] but it seems very annoying and complicated. 

So Harry goes out and gets it for him. Perry's a very weird guy. He's got loads of books, but almost none of them are on anything interesting. It isn't his fault that he snaps, really, Perry wore him down. 

He finds himself really considering the people they investigate, and checking their wallets, and running their info by one of his computer savvy friends. 

But before he can suggest it to Perry, he gets surprise. "I have a problem, chief," he tells him, as they sit one night on the sofa. Unless Perry is working or Harry's out filming, they have very elaborate dinners, they for some reason end with drinking a tiny bit of odd-tasting alcohol in a tiny glass while on the couch.

Harry lets a lot of things slide; if he questioned every odd thing Perry did, he'd have no hours left in the day. I mean, Perry does things like give him a keyring from Cartier with everything on it [the house and car keys, and other assorted ones]. Like he needs keys to get in somewhere! Though he does try to have him upgrade his locks after that. 

He seems to think you need to be dressed in uncomfortable, formal clothes to eat meals. Harry does not agree. I mean, they're in their own home. Why have a tie on? And a jacket, shoes from Italy, just why? It makes no sense. Dressing up is a shield, armor, a lie, a distraction, it makes people think certain things about you. 

Harry wants to be honest with Perry, to be himself. He has a feeling, though, that this is the real Perry. He just expresses himself in a really weird, sartorial way.

Also, he never calls Harry chief, just once in a whie, so why now? He can tell something's wrong. Perry was more quiet than usual. At dinner he barely said anything; he usually gives long lectures about the history of a particular thing, place, culture, time period or expression. 

Harry's learned a lot of etymology since knowing him. He even knows shows on NPR now, which apparently a thing smart people listen to a lot. "I've been burned," Perry says quietly, and he can tell he's upset but determined to act natural. "A police officer with influence--"

Harry perks up, not for the wrong reasons, though. If Perry's willing to leave the letter of the law over whatever this problem is, that would so great. They could work together, but like how Harry worked before--except this time, they could do the right thing. 

I mean, Harry does have all this money, and does nothing with it. He listens to Perry talk in a rambling way that's unlike him and thinks: now I have something to spend it on. They could be their own little Leverage team, he thinks. 

He puts a hand on Perry's wrist, which gets him to stop talking. Usually he's not super touchy feely, it's Perry who's more of a doer of that. "So we can do stuff my way," Harry says, and he just looks at him. 

"I thought you didn't like to talk about that," Perry said, slowly. 

Harry shrugs. "I will if you're onboard. If we could do something good, then I don't mind telling you about it. We could call a friend of mine, if we need extra help with tech stuff. And... if you're not into the rules so much, I can have my accountant handle the bills. I have some money, I mean, I could buy an island. Not the acting money," he hastened to assure him. "That's yours, cause you make me lunch all the time, you know?"

Perry stares at him. "What do you mean?" His tone makes it clear that he's just now realizing that Harry's been not mentioning this [his $$$] the whole time on purpose. 

Well, he couldn't, could he. Then how could he stay with Perry? Anyway, he never asked him if he had anything, he just moved him right in. It was never about money.

"Enough that you don't have to worry about it," Harry admitted. He didn't want him to be disappointed in him, but really, how could you not be? "Look, I spent my whole life acquiring things, and it all went to the Cayman Islands."

"Why didn't you spend it?" Perry said, almost confused at the concept. Harry tried not to laugh; real top shelf thieves aren't into spending at all, they're into accumulating. No amount of money is enough. No amount of treasures feels good enough. You never feel fulfilled by it, your need just keeps growing.

"Come on," Harry said, "what would I even get? I don't need regular stuff, I don't want fancy stuff--no offense," he added, to Perry's muted amusement. "Sometimes we went for things we didn't sell off, that we just kept. That meant something; there's nothing to be proud of if you pay for something. That takes no effort, it's lazy."

Perry shook his head, and rubbed a hand over his eyes. He finally looked at him and said, "I don't like the idea of being off the books, but they've pushed me out." It was a hesitant, tentative offering. Harry was thrilled.

"Let me tell you what I'm thinking about," he began, and started from there.


	6. Chapter 6

So they start working Harry's way. It's half pro bono work, some red tape circumventing, with a little of Perry being intimidating and a little of his housemate doing some low-key thievery. His friend? He still didn't have a term he felt comfortable using for him out loud... or in his head. He usually said 'his assistant.'

After the debacle of the eye shadow [it was more of a little concealer powder, he wanted to ease Harry into eye creams and the world taking care of yourself in general], Perry swears to himself never to give an expressive gift again. He got emotional, and went in the wrong direction. Of course, it was technically just a skin product, so whatever. Nothing wrong with that. And it had led to Harry talking more about his real skill set, so in the end it had been a good move. 

He's disappointed on the skin care front, however. On the work front things are good though. Perry uses his friends to get the contact info of people who may need a helping hand, although they're more acquaintances than friends. 

It's a little disquieting to realize that Harry is actually kind of his first 'real' friend -- the first person who likes him for him, who doesn't want him to change, who just likes to hang out with him in silence. Who forgives him for wanting to be alone sometimes, just sitting by himself in one of the little side rooms in the house. 

Earlier people Perry had thought might be something, just people he could tolerate at least, had always inevitably left, saying he was too cold, too sarcastic, too negative. Harry is so much the opposite that he didn't even think about that type of thing for months after he'd moved him in. 

But Harry's never said any of those things, or hinted at it -- and he's always brought out the best in him. Their time together, just being there is enough. It's what he looks forward to. 

Harry has never spoken about any of the usual relationship questions. There has been a piece missing though; a sense that he is holding back. A hesitation, and a silence, when Perry knows he's got an opinion. 

Working outside the law shows him that missing link. Harry's got a very different perspective on people, socio-economic class, behavior, and reading people. He doesn't see things that Perry sees--he sees things that are more outside the norm. 

He has a problem with guns, though he has shot well quite a few times. Perry decided not to ask about it, especially after he only said, almost to himself, that they're "too emotional." Few people would characterize them that way...

Harry is a great distraction during these new types of cases, as he's both too good looking and also too talkative not to get someone's attention immediately. It's almost weird when he finally masters regular situations like putting in the new credit cards numbers into Netflix on his own. In a timely fashion. After Perry happened to say it out loud while adding it to his to-do list. 

Harry is getting the knack of being regular, and he's just hoping it doesn't get too claustrophobic for him. People like him are allergic to staying in one place, and being boring, basically. Perry considers himself to be quite the expert, seeing as he's read almost all of the Beat literature out there and most critically acclaimed contemporary prose.

He understands that Harry is trying this life with him, this lifestyle. After more than a year or two of real food, having a dry sherry before dinner while reading Perry's many travel magazines, he still finds Harry eating green beans out of a can with his fingers. Not even with a fork.

To supplement their pro bono lifestyle, and also because Perry does not want to have Harry use his own money on anything anyway, they work as security consultants to the elite. It actually helps to seem on the outs with the local law enforcement in that case, as these fools are impressed by the subtle implication of danger. 

Not that Perry's not willing to be dangerous. He's already had to shoot people to get the innocent out of harm's way. Unfortunately, his type of expertise is not needed as much here as Harry's is. He's more of the heavy to Harry's eccentric investigator. They're basically paid to break in to places.

Harry is way better at it than he'd realized. He had tried to drill the PI rules into him early on, like you can't break into places, you can't break the law, all those little rules are important so that evidence gets to stand and we win the case. 

Now he can see what he really did -- he ended up never getting to see what Harry could actually do. He's so unassuming he can take wallets and jewelry left and right, but he never takes anything of Perry's. When he asks him to try, he does not like it. 

For the first time, he sees him upset. With him. The next day he finds a note saying he's gone to work on location. That's happened before, but he's never left a note that long about it. His handwriting is so bad that he always makes a joke about it at the end of his notes. This message doesn't have one.

Perry leaves it on the counter, not touching it, as if it's some fragile, potentially bomb-like item. He goes back upstairs on autopilot, trying to make sense of the fact that he's fucked up another interpersonal connection. 

He had a therapist once; they'd said he was terrible at that. He's almost to his, well their, room when he hears something from one room back--Harry's room. He doesn't always sleep in it. He doesn't want to open the door, but there is a noise; either a phone or computer. 

He opens the door quick, but there's no Harry, of course. His phone is there, which doesn't surprise him. He likes to focus on shoots, with no distractions from the script and his role. And he does not love technology, so the phone rarely is on him. 

It seems only natural to look at the screen as it chimes with text messages, all detailing things he tried to interpret. He put the phone down. He wasn't someone who spied in matters like this.

**Author's Note:**

> **FYI I take commissions, just message me : )


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